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Monday, May 31, 2010

Waiting ...

Spent half the day reading recaps and tips on the Yahoo FSOA Forum. Initially went to FSWE Forum to see if anyone had received response to QEP/PNQs. Found link to a schedule indicating that answers (i.e. invites to the OA) will probably go out in mid-June.

In two weeks.

I'm getting nervous. I tell myself not to be. But ... it doesn't help. I passed the FSOT, but wonder if I passed it well enough to qualify for an OA invite.

I guess I'll find out soon enough.

In the meantime, I'm finding it harder and harder not to think about last year's OA and what I could've done better -- and where I could be stronger.

Hence, the re-reading of recaps and Traveler's tips.

Also, indulged in reading blogs of the newly sworn in, including a blog by someone who was in my study group. Seeing her blog and her photos gives me hope. She's just a regular person, like me. Shy, introverted. Smart as a whip, gentle and kind and not pushy or aggressive. Someone who could, without being pushy or aggressive, assert herself during the OAs.

Nice.

I spend some time rearranging the elements on this blog page, changing the colors, an wondering, "Is this a waste of time?" What if I don't garner an invite to the OAs? What then? I glance at the Countdown widget, which now reads 89 days since I took the FSOT. I change the title to, "Long Road to Becoming an FSO." Suppose this "long road leads to nowhere?"

But suppose it doesn't?

Well, I know that if I don't get an invitation this time around, then I'll try again. I'll swallow my disappointment and re-register as soon as the system allows me to. I have nothing to lose and everything to gain. And I won't think about last year and everything I did wrong. I'll think about next time and what I can do right.

No, I don't want to go down as one of those legendary candidates who tried five, six, seven times. But I don't want to give up. I've never been one for giving up.
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About the Author

I'm a novelist and former news writer. I'm also single mom with one child at home and one in college. I spent 15 years overseas, returned to the States several years ago. I've always wanted to join the Foreign Service -- (Doesn't that sound trite?) -- and now think it would be a wonderful time to do so.

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The views and opinions expressed in this blog represent those of the author, and not of the United States Government or any of its agencies or officials therein. All information disclosed in this blog is non-sensitive and readily available in the public domain.

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