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Sunday, October 2, 2011

It Finally Happened!

I got an offer.

Today, Sunday, this afternoon, my son saw the email first.

We're over the top with relief and joy. This has been a long, hard slog and I'm so very, very grateful that it's finally over. Now, I can move on. We can move on.

For the moment, I don't want to even think about all the work that awaits us, just to get ready for the move. That's joyous work and I know we'll manage it.

For the moment, I just want to be grateful.

Thank you for all the heartfelt words and prayers of support you've sent along the way.
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Thursday, September 29, 2011

Another Class

... has apparently passed me by. I've been informed that all invitations to the November class have been sent out. Not everyone has responded yet and so I suppose there's still some smidgen of a chance that I'll get an offer, but I'm not holding my breath.

I remain grateful, however, that this class is happening at all. It arrived in time to save some people whose candidacies were about to expire. And it should result in another increase in my ranking and increase my chances of getting into the January class. So I'm going to try hard to focus on that and bury my disappointment.

Thanks to all the folks who have written and sent me their best wishes -- and blessings and congratulations to all those who've gotten offers.
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Thursday, July 28, 2011

So ...

It's probably painfully obvious from my long silence that I did not get an offer. I did come close, though. I missed by only three places. There was hope (a bit of roller coaster ride) up until the last moment. The last offer out was finally accepted just two days ago.

Good news: my new rank puts me in the "green zone." Bad news: offers for the next class probably won't go out until October / November, which means there's plenty of time for my rank to slide.

I guess it's back to studying Turkish. Sigh.
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Sunday, July 10, 2011

Slightly Obsessive, You Say?

The Shadow Register was quiet all last week. No one reported any (second-round) offers. I waited and waited and then on Friday checked my rankings again to see if there had been any movement. Well, yes, there had been. I'd moved up -- by exactly one slot.

Grrrr! Teeth-grinding time.

ONE SLOT??? What does that mean? 

Could it be that only one new acceptance had come in since the last time I checked (an entire week earlier)? Or could it be that the overly-busy folks at State simply hadn't had the time to update the Register?

In late May, my rank was 27. Checked two days after the first round of offers went out, my rank came in at 19 and therefore reflected at least eight acceptances. The latest rank of 18 would make it nine. That leaves a lot of offers (publicly) unaccounted for. And that could mean the possibility of more offers,  couldn't it? 

Oh, tell me it would!

I want to think positively. I want to be confident. I want to hold my chin up high and keep a stiff upper lip! And there have certainly been moments when I've managed to do exactly that. But please note that I said "moments." Not minutes, or even seconds, but moments. The rest of the time I try not to think about it. As a matter-of-fact, I spend an inordinate amount of time trying not to think about it. It's exhausting.

This business of sitting on the Registers is ...  well, it can certainly tinker with your sanity, can't it? For example, if you're like me, then you don't consider yourself particularly adept with an Excel spreadsheet. But you suddenly find yourself very adept at designing fairly complicated formulas and charts to track your progress on the Register. You assign a green zone and an orange zone and a red zone to the rankings -- those ranges where you're most "likely" (or unlikely) to get the call. And you scour the board for rankings related to previous offers, then double check the dates to make sure those numbers don't reflect a different time, a different reality -- that they're still relevant to your situation, to right now. You do all that and plug it all in and admire your pretty handiwork and then ... 

Well, then you collapse. You realize that you can do all the calculating you want, but unless you're ranked in the single digits, you can't be sure of anything. Even then, your optimism is affected by an awareness that you're incredibly vulnerable to a host of factors beyond your control.

So how am I feeling today, at this moment? Optimistic, I'd say. Irrationally, perhaps, but still happily.

We'll see. This week should provide definitive answers. 
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Tuesday, July 5, 2011

September? No Offer, Not Yet

People on the A-100 Yahoo forum started reporting offers last Monday, June 27. None of those highly desired emails from State arrived in my mail box, unfortunately. And yes, I'm bummed. I admit it.

I think my rank before the offers for the September Class went out was around 25 or 27. Actually, it could've been much lower down on the Register, since I hadn't checked my rank in a month -- and a lot can happen in that amount of time. Long story short, I checked on Wednesday and learned that my new ranking was 19/180. This was the result after all consular offers for the September class had been sent out. (I've read that ranks don't change when the offers go out; they're only updated when people accept an offer and are then removed from the Register.)

If any of the initial offer recipients declined, then we'll learn about it this week, I hope. Usually, second-round offers, when there are any, are sent out the week following the first round.

I would so love to get an offer, but I'm steeling myself for another week of silence, and then months of watching my rank slip.

But, in the meantime, I'm sending out my best wishes and congratulations to those who did get an offer. One of the most touching and meaningful stories is that of NJT. I'm so happy to hear that NJT has gotten an offer -- finally. This person has gone through a lot. My heartfelt blessings go out to the winner and family.
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Wednesday, June 1, 2011

A Commitment to Blog

I think it's about time to admit to myself that my Foreign Service dream might never come true. You might look at my last officially notified ranking, #27, and think, "How can it be that high and she still be worried about not being chosen?" Well, if it's one thing I've learned, it's that nothing is guaranteed about this business of getting into the Foreign Service. Ranking has all the stability of a yo-yo in constant motion and scores that would guarantee an invite at one point fall far short of the mark at another.

So, I've been thinking about my blog. I'm not really a blogger. The tendency to share my thoughts or activities doesn't just come to me that naturally. However, I decided to start this blog for a very specific reason and promised myself I'd make a special effort with it.

When I first started applying to the Foreign Service, I was thrilled to find blogs by working FSOs. My main focus, however, was on their early entries, the ones where they talked about the process of becoming an FSO. Many of them were quite sketchy there, so I started looking for blogs that were written by candidates, that detailed the lengthy and agonizing struggle that some -- not all -- people go through to get this job. I was hungry for information about the FSOT, the QEP, the Orals, etc., and how it felt to take each step. But I found very few blogs like that. Most people, it seems, only begin their Foreign Service blogs when they actually join the Foreign Service, right after getting the A-100 invitation, when they know the adventure is about to begin. There seem to be relatively few of us who start their FS blog well before there's a guarantee of anything. I hoped this blog, for better or worse, would help fill that niche.

So now, I'm sitting here and thinking. Suppose I don't get in? What will I do about this blog? When will I stop writing it? I think I'll stop when my candidacy ends. I hope that the blog will segue into a Foreign Service career, that I will get to write the next chapter, about life in the A-100, but if I don't, then I will at least write until July 2012. That's when my candidacy is to automatically terminate. I will leave the blog up after that and be available to answer questions or respond to comments, if there are any. I hope that whether I get through or not, this blog will help those who are walking a similar path.

(Gee, I get all goose-pimply just thinking about this. It reminds me of an Indiana Jones kind of thing, where somebody finds himself in some unexplored and unfamiliar part of the world, then spots a skeleton in the corner of a dark cave. There's a message in blood on the walls and the skeleton's bony finger is pointing the way forward --> That way!) :-)
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Monday, May 30, 2011

Bad News

The last time I posted, one of my commentators brought up the possibility of a November class. That news cheered me. However, today someone on the A-100 board brought this to our attention. It's a quote from the State Department's career forum:
At this point,  there is no A-100 class scheduled for October 2011.  Our last A-100 class of this fiscal year will begin Sept. 12.    The class following that is scheduled for early 2012.

The schedule could always change based on budget and hiring authorizations,  but that's where things currently stand.
So it's the September class, or bust, for this calendar year, anyway.

My concern isn't just for myself, though. It's for the people whose candidacy will automatically terminate this year. Every now and then I see an anguished message on the board, as in the one by the person who quoted the State Department forum message. I feel for him and know that I could one day be standing in his shoes.

When I first started this process, a waiting term of 18 months seemed so generous, but at that time, people with even 5.4s were receiving invitations within four to six months of landing on the list. Now, 18 months seems like the shortest time in the world.
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Thursday, May 26, 2011

P.S.: Secrets Shared

After writing my last post, and feeling downhearted about my chances to get the call, I indulged in one of my favorite activities: blog reading, specifically Foreign Service blog reading. It's always proven to be informative and entertaining. In this case, it also happened to be very inspiring. I visited the blog This Sojourning Life and happened upon an entry called "The Secrets of Adulthood.

Here are the excerpted "secrets" that moved me:
- Just in Time - things have a way of showing up just when you really need them - not when you thought you did.  Be patient, relax and ... 
- Have Faith - it may not turn out the way you think it should at the time, but it will be fine - and may even take you to new places that expand your horizons. 
- Absolutely nothing can change or take away the love that your family and real friends feel for you.  And that is all that is important. 
- Ask for what you want.  Get clear, be concise and direct - and use your words to ask for what you want - whether it's to a person or to the universe - put it out there.  If you don't ask - no one will know what you want.
It was very timely to run across this entry. It was just what I needed and has made me feel better.
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Keeping Hope Alive

All the invitations for the July A-100 have gone out. Apparently, all were accepted on the first go-round, so there was no second round. This news didn't surprise me. After all, several of the decliners for the May class indicated a preference for the July orientation; others were coming off the DNC list. Also, there's a general sense of slow panic on the A-100 Yahoo forum right now. People are urging everyone to accept an offer because the chance might not come around again.

The lowest rank to receive an offer in the consular cone was #25 on the Shadow Register (an attempt by the forum to duplicate the official Register). The candidate had a score of 5.6, so no 5.57s received invitations this time around.

Next up is the September class. It's to be the last training class held this year. Then there's a long haul until 2012, when there's usually a January class. I say "usually" because of the uncertainty of the budget.

Invitations to the September class will probably go out in late June/early July. If I'm not a lucky recipient, then that'll mean a long wait until October/November, when invitations for the January class go out. Three months in which my ranking could again start to slide, as high-scorers are added to the list and others improve their scores with mega-bonus language points.

I've been chasing this dream for nearly three years now. I'm exhausted. My family is exhausted. And we're all a bit frustrated. I've thought about taking the FSOT again, but ... just the thought, just the thought of running that whole gamut again ....

For the past few days I was able to get away from worrying about all this, days I spent immersed in my other world, the book world, at the Book Expo America convention in New York. It was great to be around so many wonderful, creative people and gorgeous books brimming with unusual ideas. I also had a good time seeing friends who live at a distance. It was nice, very nice, to be with people like me: writers.

I'm finding it hard to write right now. I'm finding it very hard to focus. But I have to. My agent just wrote me this morning and reminded me that I have a short story due. And I'm reminding myself that I have a manuscript due, my deadline, not his. Sales on my latest book are doing well, so I can be happy about that.

This summer, I hope to be able to find enough peace of mind to focus on writing again. Finances are tight, so I can't take a big vacation -- I don't want to, anyway. Instead, I'll aim for several mini-vacations, long weekends, essentially, in which I visit friends in Boston and Chicago and maybe Vermont and West Virginia. There's even the possibility of a trip to Austin.

When it comes to summer goals, there's this apartment, too. Old and battered and full of stuff. Seven rooms of stuff. Last month, I finally got my mom settled into an assisted living facility. It was clear that she was happy there and not moving back here, so I at last felt free to empty this place. I went to work with tons of gritty determination. However, the dust (a toxic mix if ever there was one) got to me. Sneezing and wheezing, I had to call time out after several days. I finally wised up and order a mask with a HEPA filter. It arrived the other day and so I'll spend part of my summer emptying the place, room by room.

Last, but not least, is studying Turkish. It's not a "difficult" language, not really. But it is complex and learning it requires one's full concentration, something I'm having a hard time giving right now. Still, I'll pursue it. It's a beautiful language and I have a great teacher. I doubt I'll be able to learn it well enough to pass the language test, but I'll keep trying.
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Thursday, May 19, 2011

A Sliver of Hope

Yup, that's right. Invites are going out for the July training class. Someone on the Con list at #25 actually got called. So I suppose there's some sliver of hope for me! Depending on whether people turned down their invitations, a second wave of invites might go out next week. Here's hoping!
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Monday, May 2, 2011

What Can I Tell Ya? I'm Weak.

So, I'd promised myself that I wouldn't bother HR at State for an update on my ranking until it was clear that all of the offers for the May class had gone out and been accepted.

Guess what? I couldn't do it. I just couldn't wait that long, ("that long" being probably no more than a day.) This morning I gave in to temptation and sent that little request for an update. 

The folks in HR are efficient and fast. I've apparently "inherited" one of the slots inhabited by the last guy who was called. His rank was 33/190 and my new one is 33/189.

Here's hoping that that number will be as lucky for me as it was for him!
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Sunday, May 1, 2011

Great News: 5.57s Have Gotten "the Call"

At least two people with scores of 5.57  on the (shadow) consular register have now gotten the call for the May class. One said his (official) rank (on the real register), as of last week, was 26/193 and the other said his was 33/190. That's certainly encouraging.

Of note, one guy said he would have expired off the register in 12 days. The other had been waiting since August 2010. So it felt real good to see their notes on the A-100 Yahoo Forum message board. I felt good for them and good for me and the rest of us 5.57s.

I hope the next calls, for the summer class, will reach the 5.57s also. I'm about four or five slots down from one of the people who were called this time around. Those slots are filled with people who've also been waiting a very long time and I'd like to see them get their chance.

And yes, I'm praying for me, too. I would pick up and leave tomorrow if State called. That's how ready I am.
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Friday, April 22, 2011

Good News & Not So Good News

So the previously canceled May A-100 has been reinstated and calls have gone out. This has made a lot of people very happy and restored hope.

Meanwhile, my ranking has dropped. My new ranking of 40/196 is actually the bounce back after having fallen to an estimated nearly 50 while Congress sorted out the budget, during which delay more and more folks tested for high language bonus points and moved to the head of the line.

There's faith now that there will be July and September classes. One of the forums on State's site did mention a November class, but for some reason that was never listed on the A-100 board. It seems to be a given that the September class could be the last one of the year.

At one point, I held out hope of getting the call for the September class. Now I think it unlikely. The tops of the registers are crowded with high-scorers -- from 5.7s up to 6+. In some cases they take up as many as the first 30 places. It will take a while to pare this down. Also, some of the Pickering and Rangel Fellows, as well as others who were perhaps finishing up degrees will be coming off the Do-Not-Call (DNC) list and become available for training. All that pushes my humble 5.57 further down the list.

How's my Turkish coming along? Slowly. I'm enjoying the language, but it's hard to stay motivated, when I know that next year's budget is not only up in the air, but the likely subject of another contentious debate, one that could end up with State severely restricting its hiring.

I guess I'm praying for a miracle. I never would've thought that a 5.57 would be just shy of good enough when I started this journey, but that's how it's turned out. Wow ...
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Saturday, March 12, 2011

Hearing the Silence

Ever since the (unofficial) news came that State canceled the May class, I've had to make a conscious effort to keep hope alive. At one point a 5.57 was more than enough to guarantee an invitation to an A-100, but those days seem to be gone. The number of people with 5.6s and up continues to climb, mainly due to language bonus points. And each week that passes by my rank falls lower and lower on the Register.

Nevertheless, I do feel a sense of hope. Why? Well, it isn't due to my nascent gifts with Turkish. Lemme tell ya! I'm studying but progress is slow.

I guess I choose to believe because (a) it just feels better than giving in to despair; (b) common sense dictates that Congress will eventually pass a budget, one that will (eventually) allow State to resume training and (c) that the November class mentioned on State's website will help defray the damage done by the canceled May class.

Speaking of which, I also (d) retain hope that there will be a May class. The State Department responders to questions on the Careers Forum keep saying that invitations to A-100s go out six to eight weeks in advance, sometimes as little as four weeks in advance. This runs counter to the approximations posted on the A-100 Yahoo Group, which put advance notice at up to 90 days, i.e., 12 weeks in advance. If I go by State's statement, however, (the wiser choice, don't you think), then notices wouldn't go out before the middle of this month. In other words, if Congress passes a budget in time, then we might have a May class after all. That would be great.

Meanwhile, I'm considering signing up for a once a week Turkish beginner's class. I think I've already learned more than half of what the class would teach me, but I miss learning in a group and I believe I need practice in communicating the language. Most importantly, I want to make sure I have the fundamentals down pat. This is the same method I used to teach myself German. I started by studying alone, then took a basic course to firm up the fundamentals, and built on that, teaching myself the rest. By the time I moved to Germany, I understood 75% of what I heard. I was reluctant to speak, but once I started, it wasn't that difficult.

I still hope, however, that I won't need Turkish to get the call. I hope, and pray, with all my heart, that Congress will find a shared, rational and reasonable middle ground, and that within the next few weeks, we'll have news of a firm decision that takes us to September 30, the end of the fiscal year. It wouldn't address the matter of the November class, but it would be a start.

Meanwhile, I try not to think about how so much of this involves factors beyond my control. I think about Bridget (over at the B files) and how she anguished over getting the call. In the end, she waited only four months. Going by her time line, I had thought--hoped--to get the call in May for a July class. That seems like an impossibility now. So much has changed so radically since she got the call in October, only five months ago.

Five months from now, the pendulum could swing back the other way, I suppose, but how far down on the Register will I be by then? My rank has already been pushed down to the forties. The number of people with 5.6s and up continues to increase every week. And as more of them realize the narrowing window of opportunity, fewer of them will be going DNC (Do Not Call) status.

The chatter on the A-100 board has all but stopped. Everyone's just watching and waiting. You can almost hear the silence.
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Thursday, March 3, 2011

New Rank on the Register

Five minutes ago, I got the great news that my bonus points have been officially added to my score. That new tally of 5.57 brings my ranking from 109/191 to 37/199.

Wow! I feel dizzy, almost like I've just ridden a rocket ship!

This really increases my hope of receiving the call sometime within the next six months. It's so good to feel hope again.
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Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Grace and Blessings! I Passed!

My son opened up the email from the BEX yesterday and found the answer we'd been praying for:
“You passed the German BEX language test …”
I was so stunned. So totally stunned. I had actually already written to BEX, requesting to take the test again. I was that convinced I'd flunked it. And meanwhile, I'd started listening to Turkish tapes, wondering if it wasn't better to just spend the next six months learning Turkish.

That was yesterday. This morning, I'm still trying to take it in. But the shock is fading and it's giving way to gratitude. I’m grateful, so grateful, and so very, very relieved.

Almost immediately after receiving the email from State, I wrote back, asking for an update on my ranking on the Register. I’m hoping that my new score of 5.57 will put me in the  thirties. I do hope so. There are quite a few people with 5.6s and higher, but not so many. It’s mainly the other 5.57s I have to stand behind. We’re listed according to when we landed on the register. My date was January 12. So I’ll go behind the person who got on the register before that date and ahead of anyone who got on later, even if they received their 5.57 before I did.

I pray to get the call late this spring or early this summer, for the A-100 class that is schedded for the fall. Perhaps they would have to increase class size again and reach fairly deep into the register to get to me. Some say that's unlikely. Still, it might happen. The March class is already filled. There’s a class after that, which I doubt I’ll be called for— and then there’s another class after that. The third class would be the September one. That’s the one by which time I sincerely hope I’ve moved high enough up on the register to receive "the call."

In the meantime, I'm still considering whether to study Turkish. I really enjoyed the tapes I downloaded. I didn't have the faintest idea of what I was saying, but I found the pronunciation surprisingly easy. And it was enjoyable to start with a fresh language. There's an intensive beginner's class starting in April and I would like to sign up for it. I could study it now without pressure. If I get good enough at it, then maybe I could actually take the Turkish test and pass that, too. Wouldn't that be something?

But the main thing I'll do with this waiting time is use it to prepare — to clean up the apartment, empty it of clutter, make it ready for us to pack and move to Washington DC. The cleaning process will also help me believe that this is going to happen. We will be leaving this place and we will be moving on to a better one, a safer, cleaner, happier one. That’s our future.
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Thursday, February 17, 2011

Language Exam and Karma and Hope vs the Other Thing (Despair)

I have no idea whether I passed my German language exam. It was ... indescribable. Partly because of NDA requirements (which were not mentioned, by the way, by the testers, but are mentioned on State's website, I believe). And partly because ... part of me just doesn't want to think about all the mistakes I made.

In a word, I babbled. And babbled. And babbled some more.

Until they cut me off. Politely, but firmly, brought it to an end.

I had been dreading this test for weeks; this morning, leading up to it, my stomach was in knots. By the time 9 a.m. came around and I lifted the receiver to call the testing site, I was more nervous than I'd been the day of my Oral Assessment.

Really?

Yes, really.

Why?

Because the difference in score could--at this point, most probably would--make all the difference in my chances of getting an invitation to an A-100, in other words a firm job offer. The same OA score that two years ago would have been a shoe-in, and even this time last year would've stood a healthy chance of success, now means almost no chance of getting in.

On January 20, I was 107 out of 182 on the register. As of yesterday, I was 109 out of 191. Not good. I'm dropping like a rock and the register continues to grow longer. I had hoped that because a good number of people were reportedly invited to the March A-100 that I would move up. Instead, I moved down. And I received this news on the eve of my phone test. So I put enormous pressure on myself to pass this thing.

Now, trying to think positively, I suppose I can say that although I'm not happy  I babbled, I am glad that I didn't become too terrified to speak. If anything else, I went the opposite way ... continuing to yammer on, trying to find the right words to express what I meant until they had to shut me up. Politely, but firmly shut me up. Actually, it's rather funny when you think about it.

I just wanted to go out and get drunk. Unfortunately, we don't have liquor in the house. I always forget to buy some. So I promised myself that when I went out, I'd go buy myself some booze and drown my sorrows. And I did. Go out, I mean. I took my laptop to the shop and was relieved to hear that instead of spending $800+ for a new logic board, I'd only have to spend $400 for a flat fee to fix the multitudinous things plaguing my baby. Then I went to the post office and finally picked up copies of my latest book (an about-to-be-best seller -- yay!) and then I went home.

Did you notice something?

I forgot all about my plans to guzzle liquor until I walked in the door. Well, I was so upset about that that I decided to fix some home-grown brew. I tore my coat off, marched into the kitchen and found some instant coffee. I poured some granules into a nice tall glass, then added milk and sugar. Stirred briskly. Drank greedily. With a little imagination (okay, a lot of imagination), it tasted just like Benedictine. There ya go! Benedictine on a tight budget. I promptly got drunk on my home-made liquor and passed out in the living room armchair, exhausted after weeks and weeks of worrying about deadlines and tests and making clients happy.

Then I woke up.

Ever since then I've been trying to tell myself that them cutting me off doesn't equate to an automatic failure. But ...

I've also reminded myself that I can take the test again in six months or that I've already found a school where I can study Turkish for a reasonable fee.

I keep telling myself that I've only been on the register for one month. I still have seventeen months to go -- seventeen months to learn a new language and get those bonus points.

But I'm also tired. I've been chasing this Foreign Service dream for a long time now, and I'm exhausted. I feel as though I'm chasing after a moving target. Every time I overcome one hurdle, I turn and suddenly find a new one.

My son and I talked about me going for a third round--taking the FSOT, etc.--but ... I'm not the only one who's exhausted. My family and friends are, too. And I've begun to wonder whether this whole thing is "meant" for me. And yes, I do mean in the metaphysical, psychic, karma kind of sense. Remember that saying, "Many are called, but few are chosen?" Well, I've begun to wonder whether  I'm meant to be one of the 'many' and not of the 'few.'

I spoke to a wonderful woman this evening, an acquaintance who has had to endure a double liver transplant and a mastectomy and who is still fighting cancer. She spoke to me about hope. She doesn't know my situation. We were discussing something else entirely, but her words struck a chord. Actually, we were talking about survival methods. She said that everyone needs to feel hope, that it was important to find something specific to hope for, even if it's something small, something you can cling to.

So I'm trying to find hope now. I'm praying for a miracle, that I passed my language test after all. And I'm praying for real movement, upward movement, on the register.

In the meantime, I want to thank everyone who takes the time to visit this sparsely-written blog, to read my entries and then leave a comment. I appreciate the support and encouragement. It has meant a great deal to me. So thank you and best wishes also to those of you who, like me, are still struggling to run this crazy marathon.
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Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Yes! I'm On the Register!!

OMG! I got the letter today! I've been added to the Register for the Consular Affairs career track!
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OK ... Determined to be Thrilled!

So I've checked the A-100 boards and it seems that a Final Suitability Review takes an average of two weeks, but can run as long as five months. The common advice to nail biters is not to assume that a lengthy stay in FSR is tantamount to failure.

Oh, well ...

I've decided not to go right into worrying about it. I'm going to give myself at least 24 hours to thoroughly enjoy the news about getting clearance.

I will not -- I absolutely will not -- go right on to obsessing about FSR!

Oy vey!
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Oh, no! Another worry!

Twelve days? Twelve days since I received clearance? Does that mean I'm stuck in Final Suitability? :-(
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Another Milestone Passed: Security Clearance

I just found out that I got my security clearance. Yippee! Yes, this old broad is jumping about and clapping her hands like a three-year-old. Well, not physically. But she sure is mentally.

I am soooo relieved and happy. According to Customer Service I actually received clearance on January 7, 2011. That's 12 days ago, folks! Twelve days in which I worried and fretted and told myself that a watched pot never boils.

But am I on the Register? That's the next question, isn't it? Have I been officially placed on the Register?

Stay tuned for updates ...

(She floats off, singing in the background.)
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Wednesday, January 12, 2011

UPs aNd dOwns

Last week, I calls DSS to check the status of my security clearance. I already knew from a previous call that they were going to miss my target date of January 4th, because of a "lead pending.' That news had upset me as I knew from the A-100 board that "lead pending" could translate into months of waiting just for the information-gathering part of the process to complete. So I was quite encouraged to learn, with that last phone call, that this phase of my case had been completed after all, albeit one or two days late.

The next step would be the decision as to whether my case would go straight to Final Suitability Review or face the dreaded detour of Adjudications. I read on the A-100 board that a majority of the cases do end up going through adjudications. That can add merely days or, unfortunately, months to the processing time. Even more unfortunately, that's where a candidacy can reach a final and irrevocable end. (If adjudications turns you down, you can appeal, but statistics, apparently are not in your favor.)

During that last phone call, the customer service representative recommended that I call back today for an update. I've been praying for good news, but trying to prepare myself for bad. Of course, trying to prepare yourself for bad news never works. It just means you spent time worrying.

Still, I was OK. And then I did something really dumb, something I know I shouldn't do. I went back to the A-100 boards to see if there was information about class sizes and whether invitations for classes had been sent out. I also wanted to check the Shadow Register* to see how long it was and the scores of those who had received invitations.

A little voice told me not to do it. Did I listen? Nope.

The Shadow Register shows that the list of waiting hopefuls in the consular track is up to 180; it's even higher for other tracks. The class sizes are down, but could be inching up again. However, the lowest score of the last people called was 5.7. Up until about a month ago, a score of 5.7 put you in the 20s on the Register.** Now, people with a 5.7 are dropping "down" to the 30s. Even as recently as late 2009, a score of 5.4 was more than enough to net an invitation to the A-100. With a 5.7, you were a shoe-in. Around the beginning of 2010, that began to change. People with a 5.7 were beginning to have to sit, and wait. As time went by, the wait got longer. Now, at the head of 2011, a score of 5.4 just means you have the privilege of sitting on the Register. It also means that you have almost no chance of getting the job. And a 5.7 seems to mean that you have only a slightly better chance of getting the job. 

Upsetting? You bet. I tell myself that with a 5.7 it's still just a waiting game. That if you hold on long enough, you will inch up the queue; they will get around to you. I tell myself that, but I'm not sure I believe it.

In their desperation, people are going through the process again and again, signing up to take the written test, pushing through to the essays to score that invitation to the OA again. They're pumping themselves up to go through that nerve-wracking marathon day of testing, hoping to increase their base score. At the same time, they're using their savings to sign up for intensive language courses -- Turkish, Chinese, Russian, what have you -- whatever could snare them an extra 0.4 points.

I'm seeing incredible scores on the Shadow Register: 5.8 and 6. This morning, one of the Shadow Registers (I forget which one), showed a score of 6.15. This person might have had language plus veterans' points. Now, of course, a score such as 6 or higher is rare, but the 5.7s, 5.8s and 5.9s are becoming less rare. There seem to be more and more of them and the rate at which even they are receiving invitations is slowing down.

The last time someone with a 5.4 got an invitation to an A-100 seems to have been last April, according to the Shadow Register.

I should forget about the 5.4s you say? After all, I'm going to pass my language test and get those bonus points, aren't I? I wish I could be that confident. I can speak "my" foreign language well enough to enjoy everyday conversation. But I have neither the vocabulary nor the confidence in my grammar to handle complex subjects such as current events. And they ask you about that stuff on the phone test.

I was very depressed this morning after visiting the board. I thought about my much anticipated phone call to DSS, the one I'm to make this afternoon. And an inner voice said, "It won't matter what the outcome is, will it? Because even with a 5.7, your chances of getting this job are just short of zero."

So, yes, I'm down today. Very down. And as I sit here, I can barely read what I'm typing. My sight is bleary with tears.

I'm so tired of struggling. If this door closes to me, I don't know what I'll do.

*   The Shadow Register is an attempt by the folks on the A-100 to duplicate the official Register. The information on the Shadow Register is totally dependent on people voluntarily submitting their information. Many participants do not participate, however; others share their information initially but do not always update it. So, the Shadow Register varies in its accuracy. However, I've never seen anyone who got into the A-100 come back to the board and say the impression the Shadow Register conveyed was totally off track.
** Your rank reflects where you are in line for an A-100 invitation. So a rank of 1 means you're first in line; a rank of 20 means you're twentieth and so on.
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About the Author

I'm a novelist and former news writer. I'm also single mom with one child at home and one in college. I spent 15 years overseas, returned to the States several years ago. I've always wanted to join the Foreign Service -- (Doesn't that sound trite?) -- and now think it would be a wonderful time to do so.

Disclaimer

The views and opinions expressed in this blog represent those of the author, and not of the United States Government or any of its agencies or officials therein. All information disclosed in this blog is non-sensitive and readily available in the public domain.

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