70 BOA: Slowing Down, Gearing Up

I have the feeling that I'm slowing down in my preparations for the OA. I haven't attended a study group session in, what? some three weeks, not since the hypotheticals party. I intended to start up again this week, but a friend I see once a year is visiting town.

Meanwhile, although I have the feeling that I'm doing less, when I think about it, I realize that I'm not. I've been reading Bush Hat, Black Tie, (see above), the memoirs of a Public Diplomacy Officer who worked in the 1950s-1960s, in Nigeria and France, among other places.

I also spent a good part of Friday with a friend, working on anecdotes for the Behavioral section of the Structured Interview. And I finally printed out all the documents I've compiled for study -- including the now infamous Case Management exercise. I say infamous because of late, survivors of the OA have said on the Yahoo Forum that the study files there are much, much less complicated than the actual test files. If that's true, then I'm in trouble. The CM is also the only exercise where you have an "opportunity" to demonstrate your skills (or lack thereof) with quantitative analysis. Quantitative what? I think I'm becoming more worried about it, than I was about the hypotheticals, the behaviorals, and the group exercise all rolled together -- and that's saying something.

Sometimes I feel as though I'm in totally over my head. It's not that I don't think I could do the job -- I do. It's more than I wonder whether, or how well, I'll be able to demonstrate that fact. But I guess that's what everyone wonders, don't they?

With the anecdotes, for example, I had such trouble coming up with specific examples. I told my friend, "It's like trying to remember the last time I put salt on my food. Helping out or running here and there to assist people, or my kids, it's just a normal part of my existence -- as it is any mother's -- that it's hard to think of a specific instance that would stand out."

At some point, I do begin to wonder whether ignorance isn't bliss. It's easy to become terrified, easy to focus on all one's weaknesses instead of strengths, easy to act as though -- well, as though you were a young college freshman again, easily falling into the trap of losing perspective -- something you should have well gained when you reach my age.

I finally registered a hotel room for the OA, by the way. Amazing how just that little act makes it even more real -- as though it weren't real already.

I've been reading Career Diplomacy, as is highly recommended by just about everyone, from the DIR who ran our OA Prep at SIPA, to those who've passed the OA. However ... I have to say that I find myself shying away from it, in part, I think because it breaks my heart. I'm not sure why. I don't really want to read about pay raises and promotions, etc. The information is only useful if I pass the OA; until then, it's simply a painful tease. Maybe not the best way of looking at it, but apparently that's how I feel.

Kitten here has suddenly decided to curl up next to me and act all lovey-dovey. She wants to be fed. She pours it on when she's hungry. Otherwise, I don't see or hear her. I need to get up, anyway. Have to get ready to go out for dinner.

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77 BOA: More Results ...

More results from my study group: One got a 5.1. One got a 5.6. ("Passing" requires a 5.25.) No formal recaps from either one, but they have either shared impressions (in one case, great moments of humor) and/or are willing to privately share their experiences.

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84 BOA: A Trip Down Memory Lane, Sleep, Miscellany

The folks in my study group are slowly, trickling down to DC for their Oral Assessments and I'm beginning to wish I'd schedded mine for next month instead of October. I feel prepared now. I feel prepped now. And I'm beginning to want to "get it over with," while I still feel positive and energized.

However, on close examination, I realize that there's still a lot of preparations I want to make: work on the Case Management exercise, for example. And study the projects so I get used to reading and understanding them for the Group Exercise. Digger, the FSO behind Life After Jerusalem, kindly left a comment the other day, urging me to focus on the numbers involved in the projects. He's correct. The numbers -- understanding them, explaining them -- are the hardest part of the GE exercise for me. I also have to think more about my anecdotes, and of course, write my Statement of Interest.

I have begun work on my security clearance form -- the one you hand in when you show up for your orals. Whether or not it comes into play depends, of course, on whether you actually pass them. I was nervous when I began filling out the form, afraid I would make a mistake, but after a time I began to enjoy it. It was a walk down Memory Lane. Wow! The people I've known; the places I've been; the jobs I've had! It was interesting seeing it all slowly accumulate as I remembered this and that, that and this. Even after I paused work on the form, my mind continued to consider it, remembering bits and pieces.

You may have picked up that I'm feeling more hopeful now. I keep hearing that the Oral Assessments are essentially a personality test. One woman reported on the Yahoo FSOA Group that she actually passed the OA, despite having failed the Group Exercises and Case Management sections. She was strongly prepared for her Structured Interview and passed it. She must have done more than pass it, obviously. She must have aced it.

I intend to pass everything, but I feel better knowing that all would not be lost, even if I failed two out of the three sections.

What's the best strategy? To play to one's strengths? Or be generally good at everything? Up until now, I thought the second would be the best. However, now I worry about being a jack-of-all trades, master-of-none, at least as far as the OAs are concerned. At the same time, it doesn't make ake much sense to place all of your eggs in one basket. It does make sense to have a well-rounded preparation that enables you to pick up points in your weaker areas, while you shine in your one area of "expertise," or at least feel most confident.

Enough strategizing. As you see, thoughts about the OA are "taking over." I don't feel nervous, though. I really don't. I wonder if I've proceeded to the next step mentally, where I'm feeling numb. One guy on the Yahoo board said he was so emotionally exhausted by the time he got to his OA, he was so convinced that he was going to fail, that he completely relaxed -- and passed.

We'll see. Each of us is constructed somewhat differently. But I totally understand what this guy was talking about. And I can see something like that happening to me. I've already reached the point where I tell myself that no matter what the outcome, I feel honored and blessed to be included in such a wonderful group of candidates and that the OA is an experience that few get to undergo. Some would say, "Lucky them." I would say, "Lucky me."

Like a lot of people, I've thought all my life about joining the Foreign Service. What stopped me? A fear of failure. An absolute certainty that I'd never pass the Foreign Service Oficer Test. And then, later, practicality stopped me. I was overseas and nowhere near a testing center. Now, there sees to be a conjoining of circumstances that not only enables but supports my application. I have no professional commitments. My children are nearly grown and certainly ready for adventure. I'm single, so I don't have to worry about affecting a husband's career.

If I don't pass the OAs, then what? I'll get on with my life -- and still be happy that I took part in the experience.

Anything can happen the day of the Orals to affect your performance. Several people have said they lucked up by being with a wonderful group of people for their Group Exercise. They had no difficult or combative personalities in the group. Everyone wanted to work together and did. Another guy said he failed because of nerves. He was so wound up, so worried about failing, that he couldn't sleep the night before. He woke up exhausted, physically as well as mentally.

Now, I'm sure I'll sleep well the night before. Don't ask me why, but I'm sure I will. Other people are worried about oversleeping. They start practicing going to sleep early and waking up at 5 a.m. several days before the OA, so that they can used to a new rhythm. The thing is, I already fall asleep fairly early and between kids and cats, I've been waking up and getting up between 5:30 a.. and 6 a.m. for nearly twenty years. So I'm not too worried about it. However, there's no need to be overly confident, so I'm planning on lots of having a couple of alarm clocks around!

If only getting sleep/waking up were my main issue!

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